Learning problems don’t happen overnight.  There are always some early warning signs that your child is struggling to learn.  Ignore these signs at your peril!

If you recognize when your child is beginning to have difficulty learning you can do something to stop it turning into a real problem, one which could take years to sort out.  And you are the best person to notice these early signs, you know your child better than anyone else and you know when something is not quite right.

1.  When a child says a subject is boring or that he doesn’t like it, it often means, “I don’t know how to do it!”    You have two choices – teach your child how to do the work (not recommended!) or tell his teacher that he needs to review the lesson ( most recommended).

2.  Messy schoolwork. OK, no one produces neat work every time but if your child’s work is always a mess it means that he has a problem. He may have some fine motor development issues, or he may not be listening to what he has to do, or he may be trying to disguise the fact that he can’t do the work.  You need to discover the cause and apply the best solution.

3. Homework avoidance.  No one likes doing homework but if your child keeps coming up with excuses for not doing homework you need to know why.  There is just the outside chance that the work may be too boring  – but it is more likely that he or she avoids doing homework because it is too hard to do.  You need to find out WHY the homework is too hard.  Does your child know what to do? Are the instructions clear?  Has he learned what he needs to be able to do the work? Find out WHY your child avoids homework – you can always ask him, right? – before you start nagging or his homework for him!

4.  Doesn’t like to read.  This is a hard one because most young people would rather listen to music than read a book.  That said, you know whether your child is not reading because he doesn’t want to or because he finds it hard.  The ability to read well is a prerequisite to learning – even in this day and age – so if you have a child who is a reluctant reader you need to find out why and do something to halt the process.

5. Missing books.  Children who never have the right book, or who forget books at school when they need them at home are avoiding having to do their work.    You need to find out why this is happening – could be many reasons, work out which belongs to your child and then fix it.

6. “Teacher didn’t tell us how to do this” – This usually means I didn’t understand the lesson.  See #1 above.

and #7 and perhaps the most important tip of all….

7.  Go with your gut.  If you think that your child has a problem then the chances are that he does. In all the years that I have been working with parents I have come to respect their gut feelings – even when they can’t put their concern into words.  If you are concerned about your child – do something about it NOW, and don’t be put off by people telling you that it is ‘only a phase’ or that he will ‘grow out of it’. It may be too late to correct the issue by then.

Being aware that your child is struggling to learn is the first step in getting him the help he needs at the time he needs it.  Please, please, I beg of you, for the sake of your child, DO NOT IGNORE THESE SIGNS!    I have seen too many children start to lose confidence in their ability to learn and I know how slippery this slope can be.

Only YOU can stop your child’s slide.  You have to advocate for your child.  If you notice any of these signs, your child needs you,don’t let him down.

As we waited in line to get on the ferry from Vancouver Island to the Mainland this weekend we were told that all ferries had been cancelled because of the weather. We had to rethink what we were going to do, just like you have to do when how you are supporting your child’s education is not getting you – or your child – anywhere!

You now what I mean: when you get frustrated and angry because your child doesn’t seem to listen to you or doesn’t want to take your advice, or when your child starts to think that learning is hard and that they don’t want to do it!  These are just  couple of signs that indicate that the way you are trying to help your child just isn’t working. And just as we had to rethink our strategy to get off the Island you have to rethink the way you are providing support to your child.

When I see parents trying to help children in ways that just don’t work I get upset.  I get upset for the parent but mainly I get upset for the child who is missing valuable learning experiences.

And this situation is so easy to get right.  It can be so easy for parents to provide the type of support their child needs in the way that their child needs it  and to avoid all the frustration and lost opportunities that come from parents doing the wrong thing and not taking the time to rethink what they are doing.

Too many parents rush to provide their child with tutoring or extra homework, or even to buy them more workbooks without taking the time to understand what support their child needs.

The result? Parents waste time,money and effort and their child is not better off than before. In fact the parents may even be stopping their child learning rather than helping their child learn.

So, if you think for a moment that the support you are offering your child might not be working, or might not be working as well as you expected, then it is time for you to rethink what you are doing.

The good news is that when you discover what support your child needs the chances are that it will be easier and cheaper to provide and that the benefits your child receives will increase as a result.

You know if you need to rethink how you are providing support.

I am here to offer you advice and encouragement to do so.

Don’t wait too long.  Make sure that you and your child catch the ferry and get home safely!

If I had a dollar for every time a child told me that he was bored I would be quite rich by now.  Saying “I’m bored!” is a child’s way of telling you that something is wrong, that something is not working, and you need to do something about it.

Children should never be bored.  Part of them dies when they are bored.  Children  who say they are ‘bored’ are not children who are learning.

So why do kids say they are bored?  They might feel bored – even say that the work they have to do is boring – here are just some of reasons children can be ‘bored’.

* The are not motivated to do the work

* Can’t do the work they are asked to do

* The work is too easy for them

* They don’t think they can do the work

* They have lost the resources they need to do their work

* They don’t like the teacher

* They are hungry and/or tired

* They don’t want to look like a nerd

All are good reasons for saying that work is boring. But you need to take action to get your child back to learning. Let’s look at the reasons children say they are bored and what you can do about them.

* Children are not motivated by the work they are asked to do

This is a tough one.  It can be hard to motivate a child who has no interest in the work he has been given.  Try talking about why he has to do this, about what this work will lead to down the road, about why the teacher is asking him to do this work.  If you can’t come up with answers that make sense to you or him it is time to talk to your child’s teacher.

* Can’t do the work they are asked to do

If your child can’t do the work you have two choices.  Either help him learn how to do it or tell the teacher and get the teacher to reteach the lesson.  I suggest you do the latter unless you know exactly how to help your child learn how to do the work.

* They have lost the resources they need to do their work

Kids forget stuff.  Set up a system for him to check that he has all the books he needs to finish his homework.

* They don’t like the teacher

Find out why he doesn’t like his teacher, then either tell him to get over it or go to school and do something about it.

* They are hungry and/or tired

This is easy to fix!

* They don’t want to look like a nerd

This is a problem of our age – being bright is not ‘cool’.  It is easy to get this one wrong.  You have to find a way to make good marks ‘cool’.  You might have to go with bribery!!

Whenever your child tells you he is bored you should start to see red flags.  Children don’t tell teachers they are bored, not if they want an easy life, so it is up to you.

You have to discover why your child is bored and do something about it before he misses out on the learning he needs.

Parents fall into four groups  when they try to help children learn- and that each group has different beliefs about teaching and learning.  No problem there – but what is really interesting is group use different methods to help children and need different information as a result.

So here is a brief description of each of these parents groups, how they try to help children learn,  and what oi formation they need to do to their job.

Before I begin – no one group is better than another – just different and with different issues.  Don’t go thinking that some parents are better at helping children learn than others.  Every group has its own good and bad points.

Carers

These parents understand the value of learning, want their children to do well in school, but think that it is the teacher’s job to make this happen.  They  make sure that children get their homework done and that they are ready for school each morning.

For a variety of reasons these parents do not feel they can get involved in their child’s education, either because they don’t know how or they genuinely feel that teachers can do a much better job than they can.

This group of parents needs to understand that they have an important role to play and that is is very different from that of their child’s teacher.

Supporters

These parents help children learn by supporting the work that goes on in school.  They review classwork and often question the work teachers are doing because they want their child to move ahead as quickly as possible. These are the parents who buy extra workbooks for their children to use each night and who believe that schools need their help to cover the curriculum properly.

These parents are eager to get involved in their child’s education and feel that they need to make sure that their child has learned their school lessons well. They want to know what the teachers are teaching so they can give children practice with schoolwork.

These parents need information about the different ways they can help their children learn, ways that are not related to schoolwork.

Developers

Parents who are developers take a personal interest in their child’s education.  They are less concerned with knowing what teachers are teaching than with understanding how well their child is progressing in class and whether he or she has any learning issues.  They know that their child needs their support but are not sure what kind of support would work best.

These parents play a guessing game.  They guess what support will help their child rather than discovering exactly how to meet their child’s learning needs.  These parents need to know more about their child’s needs and how they can meet them.

Nurturers

These parents are like the Carers described above because they trust the schools to teach their child and don’t feel that they should be too concerned about what teachers are teaching.  They see their job as giving their child as many ‘out-of-school’ learning experiences as possible. These parents take their children on trips, help them follow their interests, and see school learning as just one way to help educate children.

These parents may be too complacent about what is happening in school.  They need to work with the school to discover how well their child is progressing and what they can do to help with schoolwork.

Despite their differences these groups all have one thing in common.  They want and need information and advice on effective ways to support children’s learning.    But the information they need has to be relevant to their situation.    What works for Developer parents will it work for parents who are Carers.

So parents – do not accept cookie cutter solutions to your child’s learning issues and do not accept cookie cutter solutions to how you should be supporting your child.  Get the information that matches both your needs and those of your child.

Only by doing that can you be sure that you are helping your child succeed in school.

Children who can’t pay attention can’t learn – think about kids with ADD – but there are many ways you can help your child develop this vital learning skill. Here is one of them.

First, a story.

My friend brought her two year old round at the weekend and told me that she had been having problems with him whenever she picked him up from daycare.  He would scream, not want to go home, not want to put his coat on.

As you can imagine, no one was happy with this situation.

In an effort to discover why their normally placid child made such a fuss whenever anyone picked him up from daycare they role-played the situation!  How cute is that? The father pretended he was playing at daycare and the mother tried to get him ready to go home.

The father realized that he was quite happy doing what he was doing and did not want to be interrupted and told to put his coat on.  The mother understood that she had been impolite to her son by barging into his space and expecting him to drop everything immediately and do what she asked.

Being a bright and caring couple they quickly came up with a solution.

They decided to get the daycare person to start telling their son that mommy would be coming to pick him up at least an hour before she would be there. They even drew pictures of him putting on his coat and getting into the car for  the daycare staff to use with him.

The result- complete success- no more tantrums, their child was ready and eager to go home asked and the family had a happy evening.

So what was happening? What had changed to make the situation so much easier for all?

These parents – unwittingly – had found, and started to use, the first key to learning- skills of attention.  The pictures and the early intervention of the daycare person had the effect of switching the child’s attention away from what he was doing and started focusing it on what was about to happen.  The adults were helping the child get ready to pay attention  to what they wanted him to do.

There is more than one skill of attention – there are four or even five – and the one skill this child had not yet developed was the skill of switching attention quickly.  Once he was engrossed in something he could not quickly switch to pay attention to something else.

The opposite could be said of two of my grandchildren who stayed with us over Christmas.  They had the ability to be playing quite happily with something yet immediately switch their attention to what the adults were saying if they heard a word that interested them!  (The words chocolate and presents come to mind!)  But they are 7 and 9 years old and have had time to develop the attention skills they need.

The skills of paying attention don’t just happen, they have to be fostered and developed.  Attention isn’t something that you just ‘do’, it is something that you have to learn how to do.  It takes time to develop these skills, and a lot of patience from those who are trying to help a child develop them.

But this family has made a great start. Their child is learning how to switch attention, by the time he goes to school he will know how to use this skill to help him learn.  And teachers will love him for it!

Are you doing anything that is stopping your child developing this skill?  Are you trying to get your child to learn before he or she has the attention skills that make learning easy?

If you ever get frustrated by your child’s lack of attention to you or to some task you might want to check out your child’s attention skills to make sure that he or she can actually do what you are asking them to do.

Then try some techniques to help your child develop those skills that are missing or weak.

I love talking to parents about their child’s learning but it took me by surprise when I realized that some parents actually set their child up for failure rather than success.   And they get what they ask for!

I know that all parent want their child to succeed and will do whatever they can to help but it shocks me when I hear parents ay things such as…

“I know he can’t do math, he’s just like his father was.”

“Her reading is not very good, that’s why she gets low marks.”

“He’ll never amount to very much.”

” We know he is not as clever an his brother.”

When I talk to parents I try to be realistic but positive.  It used to be that my big concern was that I would have to tell parents that their child was not doing very well in school and that he or she needed extra help.  I used to dread the thought of that conversation.  It is never comfortable to be the bearer of bad news.

But I soon learned that the parents, rather than being upset by hearing that their child was struggling to learn, would be only too ready to agree with me and thought that their child was a poorer learner than he actually was.  Rather than having to tell them what their child could not do I always ended up telling them what their child COULD do.  I found myself defending the student’s abilities and mapping out a much rosier future than the one parents had for their child.

That’s when I realized that parents could set their child up for failure just by limiting the expectations they had of their child’s success.  And it is so easy to do that most parents don’t even know that they are doing it.

Do you ever think that your child cannot do something?  Do you ever think that your child will never get an A grade for homework?  Are you surprised when your child does well?

These are all signs that you may be setting your child up to fail.

Take a moment and think about your expectations then resolve to never limit your child’s success ever again.

I know how much damage low expectations can cause.  I was never expected to get into University – so I didn’t. Only much later did I get the degrees I needed to get the job of my dreams.

My parents loved me, but subconsciously they set me up to fail.  It took me years, and a lot of hard work, to break out of the mold of their expectations and achieve success.

Please don’t do the same to your child.

Children need 12 essential skills  to learn – but these skills can be used in any situation – here’s how to use them during this holiday season!

The physical skills

sight- Enjoy the lights people use to decorate their houses.

hearing- Christmas songs can bring back memories.

energy- Make sure you have enough to last for the whole holidays

movement- After eating Christmas dinner a walk is needed.

The Emotional skills

about yourself- Well done, you have worked hard and deserve to have a good time.

 about others- Well, that is what the holiday season is all about – donate to a charity of your choice

about your work- Yes, all the effort was worth it and you will be ready top start gain next year

about the future- Time to reflect on what the New Year might bring

The cognitive skills

attention- pay attention to the needs of others

understanding- understand what the season is about

processing- plan your gift giving and make it happen

production – make the holiday time fun for friends, family and yourself!

Have a wonderful holiday and a ‘learning’ New Year!

10 Reasons to Celebrate Not Getting Report Cards

(slightly tongue in cheek!)

 1.    Tress will be saved

Less reporting means less paper.  The forests thank you.

2.    Teachers are not worn out – and have more time to teach

I have known teachers take a sick day just to get report cards written.  Not having to write report cards means that teachers are less worn out and can spend more time and energy teaching your child.

 3.    You don’t have to work out what report cards really mean

Do you really understand your child’s report cards?  Honestly?  So what exactly does ‘not meeting expectations’ actually mean?

4.    You don’t have to have them re-read to you at parent teacher conferences.

Ah, parent/teacher conferences, where teachers often tell you what you already know and have read on your child’s report card.  Not having a report card saves you from this time wasting experience.

5.    You wont have to work out what your child’s grades actually mean.

When children get grades do you really know what the grade is for?  Chances are it is for test results and assignments they have done, but how many others in the class got a B?  Does it mean that your child is doing better than their peers or not?    Grades are not the only measure of your child’s success or failure.

6.     Students are not stressed out by what might be written about them.

Even the best students tend to freak out at report card time.  Now they don’t have to!

7.    You can talk to your child about the work they have been doing – and get their perspective on their progress

Don’t let your child off the hook completely.  Take time to ask him or her how well they are doing in school, what they have learned, what they enjoy doing and are good at, what they want to improve on next term.

And then listen to their replies.  You might learn something!

8.    It is a chance to ask schools for a better way to report on student progress.

Many teachers now send parents timely, up to date, reports on test results and learning issues using email or the school’s website.  This allows parents to make decisions about their child’s education immediately rather than having to wait.

9.    Take the opportunity to actually meet your child’s teacher to talk about your child’s learning.

Teachers are not writing report cards but they are open to meeting you.   You can set up a phone call or even a meeting with your child’s teacher to get the information you need.

10.  Chance to ask the questions you want, rather than the ones teachers want to tell you.

Parents tell me that they never have chance to ask the questions they really want answered; teachers are too busy, conferences are too tightly scheduled, several parents are in the room at the same time.  So now is your chance to talk to your child’s teacher on YOUR terms, to get the information and answers YOU need.

Call today to schedule a meeting with your child’s teacher!!!!

Dr Patricia Porter

http://www.leading2learning.com

You know that your child needs your support if he or she is going to succeed in school – but do you really know why you are so important?

Here – in reverse order- are the ten most important reasons why your child needs your support.

#10. Schools can’t do it all – I was a teacher and I know!

#9.  You make the difference between a child who is eager and 
ready to learn and one who struggles

and hates learning.

#8.  The research shows that 80% of your child’s success in school depends on you and how you help

your child learn.

#7.  You have a special relationship with your child and a special 
role to play in helping your child

succeed in school, a role that 
only you can fulfill.

#6.  You know your child better than anyone else.  You are often 
the first person to know when your

child needs extra help.  Trust your instincts!

#5.  You need to be an advocate for your child and make sure 
that your child the education he or she

needs and deserves.

#4.  You are the bridge between home and school.  You need to 
know what your child is learning and

the teacher needs to know 
about homework issues.

#3.  If children are going to reach their full learning potential 
children they need support from both a

caring teacher AND a 
loving parent.

#2.  Your child needs to know that you care about his education.  
Parental expectations are one of the

main ways to guarantee a 
child’s success in school.
#1. And the most important reason you should be involved in your child’s education is to ensure that your child LEARNS HOW TO LEARN.  If your child does not know this he or she will struggle to learn and will never get the grades they deserve of the life they want.

Want to know more?  Sign up (in the box at the top of this page) to receive  my weekly newsletter full of tips on how to help your child learn how to learn.

Wow, there is research in Canada that says two year olds should be in school!  I find this difficult to believe.  To be truthful, I haven’t read the actual research, only the media reports of it, but what I have learned has me worried.

First, I had great respect for the researcher in question- Dr Fraser Mustard, who died recently- but I have to wonder about how this research was presented.  Yes, we all know how important those first years are to a child’s future development, and yes, we all want to make sure that children gt the experiences that lead to great life outcomes.  But sending two year olds to school, surely that is going too far?

Before I go any further with this I have to make a distinction between school and day care or any other preschool support for children and families.

My understanding is that school is where there is either a formal or informal agenda or curriculum that teachers are expected to transmit to their students.

Day care – or its equivalent – is where young children develop the skills they need to be part of society – and part of a school.  Parents send children to these places either because they are working and cannot take care of the child themselves or they want their child to develop skills of social interaction beyond those they can get from family life.

Here’s my problem with putting two year olds into school.  They will miss the chance to develop some of the vital skills that will help them learn, love, and live well.

I know the problems kids face when they don’t have the skills they need to be able to learn.  I have worked with hundreds of parents desperate to help their child who is struggling in school as a result.  I have seen the despair on the faces of bright kids who don’t know why they can’t learn.

And I want it to stop.

Perhaps – and I hope this is the case- this research was suggesting that children go to school to develop those skills. Even then I have concerns.

Teachers are not trained to help kids develop these skills. They do not have the special relationship  that allows children to develop these skills in a natural and easy manner.

Schools are important, of course they are, but so are parents. Parents are the most important influence on a child’s learning. Let’s not limit this influence by putting children in schools before they have had chance to learn from their parents.

I hate to say it but the results of this research seem to me to be part of the ‘teachers know best’ attitude that I often come across.

Time to change that attitude – and keep two year olds out of school!