We all know the feeling… life is giving us lemons and we know that we need to make lemonade but it hard to get started! This happens to students when schoolwork becomes a challenge and the future looks bleak. At these times it is so easy to just sit back and let the world get on without you, but students can’t do that or they miss out on vital learning opportunities.
But you can prevent this situation from happening in the first place, and if your child has already lost their optimism about their future you can help him or her get it back and get back to loving learning and loving life.
Here’s how.
1. Expect the best
Optimism is contagious. When you expect the best out of life your child will too. When you are not defeated by setbacks but try to find a way to deal with them, your child will too. When you tell yourself that there is something you can do about a situation your child will too.
I know that it can be difficult to feel optimistic all the time but it is well worth the effort.
2. Acknowledge your child’s feelings
When your child feels that he will never be able to do what is expected of him, that an ‘A’ grade will always be out of his reach or that he will never do well on tests you have to accept his feelings before you can try to change them.
It is OK to tell your child that you know that he is feeling down as long as you add that you are going to try and help him feel better.
3. Try to discover the cause
It may be obvious why your child is feeling defeated. Perhaps homework is a hassle, he has failed exams,or not got the grades he expected despite all his hard work. But you might want to check. There may be other reasons that you are not aware of, that your child might not even be aware of. Some gentle probing might bring these to light or you may have to ask his teacher.
When you think you have discovered the cause, check with your child. You might be surprised at his reaction. I have known students feel so relieved that someone understood that they began to feel better and work harder immediately. I have know students be so sensitive about their feelings that they get angry and you have to step back until they are ready to listen to you.
4. Think about possible options
Don’t jump in and try to solve the issue immediately. Take some time to think about a possible range of options that you could offer your child. If you jump in with one possible solution without some form of back-up you risk your child rejecting it out of hand and not being willing to listen to other options.
5. Suggest the range of options to your child and let him choose!
Not only will this give your child a feeling of control over his life (something that he is missing) it also allows him to match the solution to his needs, needs which he understands better than you do.
Be prepared to follow through with any of the options you present.
6. Give your child the support he needs
Now is the time to follow through and give your child the type of support that will get him back on track, get him feeling good about the future and ready to learn again. It might takes some time and effort but the results will be worth it.
Two words of caution:
Don’t lave it too late to intervene and help your child feel better and learn more.
If you can’t help your child find someone who can.
Don’t let your child miss out on vital learning opportunities because he or she feels defeated and worried. Help your child develop an optimistic attitude and bring back their love of learning.
OK I can’t count! I have given you six ways not five. But I know that you all want to support your child in the best way possible so #6 is a given!
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