In all the years I have been working with parents I am always amazed at how many of them believe they have to help by showing children what to do.
Well, I’m here to tell you, nothing could be further from the truth!
It breaks my heart but parents who try to show children how to do their homework are needlessly heading for disaster. And the worst part is that it just doesn’t have to happen!
If you want to avoid their fate ( and I know you do!) here is the one most catastrophic mistake parents make and how to avoid it.
Never, never, tell your child how to do homework.
I know, it sounds harsh, you want to help your child by telling them what they can do to get their homework finished, but believe me you are doing your child no good if you try to do this.
Just think about it. If your child is struggling to finish his homework it is because he cannot do it quickly and easily. Why can’t he do it quickly and easily? That is the question you need to ask. Once you ask that question you will know what kind of support your child needs.
If your child is struggling with homework here are some questions to ask:
Q. Why don’t you know what you have to do?
A. I haven’t learned this; I’ve forgotten what to do; I didn’t understand what I was being taught; I can’t do it.
Possible responses –
* Contact the teacher and suggest that your child needs extra help.
* Hire a tutor.
* Set up an homework agenda process.
Q. Can you do this work?
A. No, it is too hard!
Possible responses -
* Why do you think it is too hard?
*Have you forgotten what to do?
* Who can help you with this?
Your job is to discover why your child is struggling with homework, and then to provide the support needed to prevent the situation from happening again. If you don’t do this the problem will never be solved and your child will continue to struggle with homework and may even give up on learning. There will certainly be some stress around the house!
So, stop dong your child’s work for them. Stop doing the teacher’s work for them.
Start discovering why your child finds learning difficult and then provide the support he or she needs.
No matter how long you have been trying to help your child with homework chances are that you are still trying to help your child with homework in ways that don’t work. Yes, your child might get a better grade on one piece of work, but his ability to learn will not have improved.
The good news is that by asking questions, like the ones I have described above, you can avoid this issue.
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